Lesson 2: Sexuality, Gender Identity, and Self-Discovery

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 Good Day, Students! 


Welcome to Sex-Ed class 😊. Our Second lesson will cover: 

Sexuality, Gender Identity, and Self-Discovery




What is Sexuality?

"Sexuality is not about who you have sex with, or how often you have it. Sexuality is about your sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions and behaviours towards other people. You can find other people physically, sexually or emotionally attractive, and all those things are a part of your sexuality" (BetterHealth, 2012).

In other words, sexuality is more than skin deep and it looks different for everyone. Even if we are not very honest with ourselves, our minds and bodies will tell us the truth. The truth can come in the form of daydreams, wet dreams, horny moments, lustful thoughts/fantasies, or even small intimate moments with that person. Sexuality isn't defined by the act of sex alone because some people are capable of having sex with someone they feel no attraction or forced attraction. Some examples are:
  1. Situational Homosexuality (APA, 2024)
    1. Commonplace: prison, schools, military, or sexually segregated communities.
    2. Usually performed to:
      1. Satisfy sexual needs. 
      2. Have temporary companionship.
      3. Avoid harm or life-threatening consequences. 
  2. Down-low Practice
    1. commonplace: Extremely conservative and religious communities.
    2. Usually performed because of:
      1. Shame for one's sexuality.
      2. No support if the person decides to live openly in their sexuality. 
      3. Potentially life-threatening consequences to living openly in their sexuality.
Please Note: These examples are mentioned for educational purposes and not to shame those who may find themselves in these situations. This will always be a judgment-free zone for all students. 


What is Gender Identity?

"Gender identity is each person’s internal and individual experience of gender. It is a person’s sense of being a woman, a man, both, neither, or anywhere along the gender spectrum. A person’s gender identity may be the same as or different from their birth-assigned sex" (OHRC, 2022).


Gender Identity is partnered with Sexuality, but they are very different. Sexuality focuses on relationship bonds through attraction, and Gender identity focuses on who you feel and know you are. The process of discovering either or both simultaneously can be very challenging. Especially depending on the person's culture and the support system the individual may or may not have. 

Like sexuality, individuals may go the majority of their lives not living as their true gender identity, or keeping their gender identity a secret from their family and community. Also like sexuality, this can happen because of shame, the lack of an accepting support system, and potentially life-threatening consequences to living true. 


Self-Discovery

So if you are reading this, I can safely assume you are either: 
  1. Going through the process of self-discovery.
  2. Trying to be more educated on these topics. 
  3. Or, a reason only you truly know.
Either way, I am here to let you know that there is no shame in who you are, and that includes your sexuality & gender identity. Both have spectrums, and you have a RIGHT to research and understand where you may fall on those spectrums. Although I want all of my students to be free, I also want you guys to be safe! Your life and safety should always be your top priority. So if being safe means staying in the closet for a bit longer, then I will sit in the closet with you 😊.

Below is a table that defines some of the sexualities and gender identities within the spectrum. Over time I hope to cover some of these in more depth, but for now, you can feel free to do your own research in your spare time. 


Sexuality

Gender Identity

Lesbian: A woman who is only sexually and romantically attracted to other women.

Transgender: An individual who identifies as a gender different from their assigned sex.

Gay: an individual who is attracted sexually and romantically to the same sex. 

Non-Binary: an umbrella term for individuals who do not fit into the traditional male/female gender identities.

Bi-sexual: an individual who is attracted to both men and women on a romantic and sexual level. This does not necessarily mean at the same time. 

Gender-nonconforming: individuals who identify as a man or woman, but choose not to dress or act in the traditional norms of being either (Rivera, 2012).

Pan-sexual: an individual who is attracted to men, women, and transgendered individuals. 

Intersex: an individual who medically is identified as both a man and a woman. They are usually born with both female and male reproductive organs (to some degree or the other) (Planned Parenthood, 2024). 

A-Sexual: an individual who has no or low sexual attraction to others. A-Sexual is a blanket term for the A-sexual spectrum. 

Gender Queer: "an individual who may see themselves as being both male and female, neither male nor female, or as falling completely outside these categories" (Hofmann, 2024).

Poly-Sexual: an individual who is sexually attracted to multiple individuals at the same time.

Gender Fluid: an individual whose gender identity may change over their lifetime. They do not conform to the idea of one gender always.

Polyamorous: an individual who is romantically and sexually attracted to multiple individuals at the same time. They may have multiple committed relationships or 1 non-traditional committed relationship with multiple participants. 

Androgyne: an individual who displays both male and female characteristics at the same time. Some individuals may only try to achieve androgyne through the way they dress and others may identify as both male and female. 

A-romantic: an individual who has no or low romantic attraction to others. A-romantic falls under the A-sexual spectrum.

Agender: an individual who does not identify as either male or female and chooses to retain a neutral or genderless stance on gender identity (Webster, 2024).




Conclusion

We are a class as well as a community! I hope we can grow to foster this mindset together and please know that you are supported, loved, and seen. I may not be physically there with you, but I understand some of the struggles you may be facing. I am Bi-sexual myself, and honestly, the journey of coming out, and figuring out who I am was challenging, but I am happy that I know myself better for it. 

Your journey is forever growing with new levels as you get older. Just know you don't need to have it all figured out and don't beat yourself up if your feelings change with time. As we age our needs, and perspectives change, so it's natural to be bi-curious today and gay later or gay today and transgender later. It's also okay to explore and realize that you are straight 🤷. 

The only rules to this are self-imposed 😄!



Happy Learning and Happy Foreplay ;)
"Class Dismissed" - Mrs. Tease




References


APA. (2024, May 22). APA Dictionary of Psychology. Dictionary.apa.org. https://dictionary.apa.org/situational-homosexuality

BetterHealth. (2012). Sexuality explained. Vic.gov.au. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/Sexuality-explained

Freepik. (2023). Freepik - Free Graphic resources for everyone. Freepik. https://www.freepik.com/

Hofmann, M. A. (2024, May 22). Research Guides: LGBTQIA+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/Transsexual, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual/Allies, Nonbinary/Genderqueer +) Resources and Research: Non-binary and Genderqueer. Guides.rider.edu. https://guides.rider.edu/lgbtqia/nonbinary#:~:text=People%20who%20identify%20as%20%22genderqueer


Planned parenthood. (2024, May 22). What is Intersex? | Definition of Intersexual. Www.plannedparenthood.org. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/sex-gender-identity/whats-intersex#:~:text=Intersex%20is%20a%20general%20term

Rivera, S. (2012, August 20). Fact Sheet: Transgender & Gender Nonconforming Youth In School. SRLP (Sylvia Rivera Law Project). https://srlp.org/resources/fact-sheet-transgender-gender-nonconforming-youth-school/#:~:text=assigned%20at%20birth.-

Webster, M. (2024, February 24). Definition of AGENDER. Www.merriam-Webster.com. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/agender#:~:text=agen%C2%B7%E2%80%8Bder%20(%CB%8C)









The Bahamas

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